By Gordon
Clay
Sex can be a
wonderful way of getting close to another human being. It
can be an expression of love and caring, an experience of
safety and intimacy. It can make life richer, warmer,
easier. It can help a person remember the truly benign
nature of human beings. Sex can be a place where each
partner can show herself or himself more fully than usual
and experience being accepted and loved deeply. Sex can
be fun.
Unfortunately, most
people do not experience sex in this way very often, if
ever. In order to experience even some of the benefits of
sex, people will endure many difficulties, overlook many
unsolved problems.
It appears that
almost everyone has been badly hurt in the area of sex.
("Abusers" are simply people who were badly abused as
children themselves.)
Sex is not as
important as it is made to seem. However, capitalist
societies manipulate people to keep them preoccupied with
sex, to keep them feeling bad about themselves, and to
keep them buying products they wouldn't want
otherwise.
Human beings need
closeness, touching, and loving. In present societies
people are taught that sex is the only acceptable way to
fully meet these needs. However, these needs can be met
without sex. Many Clearing the Air graduates' experience
has been that as they become able to cuddle, touch and be
close, often with many people in their lives,
preoccupation with sex diminishes or disappears. Thus sex
loses much of its false "importance."
Difficulties with
sex are also an indication of unhealed hurts. These hurts
often impose severe limitations on other areas of our
functioning. Hurts in the area of sex can affect our
sense of power, well-being, confidence, trust,
creativity, and physical mobility along with our ability
to choose, to desire, to think clearly, to set up good
relationships, to be close.
This is not an
intellectual concept. Full recovery of one's complete
humanness requires releasing the unhealthy behaviors
which have become attached to sex by developing a clear
reference point within the body of non-sexual
intimacy.
Sex is not
essential to our well-being, closeness is.
*
How Stan Dale spells intimacy - in-2-me-u-c.
See More
Dance
with the Beloved
Open-hearted,
Non-sexual Intimacy and it's importance in Clearing the
Air Between Women & Men and
Beyond
Fundamentals
of Co-counseling
The
Right One Won’t Be Bothered By Your Flaws, Weirdness
And Your Overthinking Mind
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